dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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