I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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