i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
They have beer where we have blood.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
