The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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