I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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