dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
