If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My cat gives me a boner
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
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