Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize