He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
