someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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