i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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