the condom got lost in my hair
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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