epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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