so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
