What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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