i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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