dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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