we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
