i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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