opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
