Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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