two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
