Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
