he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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