is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
