Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
