i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
