I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
