cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
