I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
