nut hugger
she told me i tasted like america
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Ladies don't puke and tell
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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