maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
