and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
third nipple confirmed
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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