Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
