So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
did i walk over a car last night?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize