Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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