420 ftw
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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