he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
