she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
