Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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