bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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