do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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