you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
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With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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