Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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