Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
