I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
