Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
