I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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