I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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