i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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