Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
