how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
