I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
