your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
