Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
