i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
