I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
