The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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