Im at strip club and am horny
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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