He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
